Hello. It’s been a long while, hasn’t it been? I believe that the last time I wrote was a day or two before my birthday, which coincidentally was on the same day as my AP Spanish test. (Spoiler: It was absolutely awful, but I say that in a humorous way).
I feel quite foreign on WordPress now, and it will likely take a while for me to get used to discussing my personal life on the internet again. A lot of interesting things have happened, if you care to hear about them… I didn’t do as well as expected on my AP Spanish test, although I hope to at least pass with a three. The test took well over the estimated 2-3 hours, instead using up 5 hours of our time, during which we became hungry and dehydrated and very, very tired. The AP European History test was a breeze compared to the time it took to think in a foreign language. The Industrial Revolution, anyone?
I have learned how to use simple BBCode, which has resulted from my usage of Hogwarts Extreme (looong story), another thing that has happened. It is strange how different one can feel in a month, or perhaps that’s just because telling someone these things feels strange when you know that you are releasing your words into a global haze of uncertainty, alas, the great World Wide Web.
I find that I’m emphasizing that point a lot. Too much, would you say? I mean, all of us do it, and I would not want to insult any of you.
Anyways, it is now summer, and I have discovered a boredom that exists solely when school is not encroaching upon your daily schedule. Not that I miss school that much, but the days are certainly duller, and I hope to fill them up by attempting to write something amateur-esque. I have already found myself brainstorming new writing ideas, and I have found quite a few of them. I suppose that I have been suppressing my inner voice too long by not writing- my voice would have no other way out.
I promised long ago to release a series of travel posts; I am unsure if I will do that. In any case, I will likely go traveling again, hopefully to the ever-lovely Florida. But I do have ideas for slightly (and hopefully) interesting topics.
Do I sound too distant and sarcastic? Ah, here it comes, and I remember it well, the thing that creeps behind that flashing cursor on the screen- a barrage of self-criticism and self-doubt, a matter of who will enjoy your post or, more importantly, understand you and hear you through your post, what I assume to be widespread fears among bloggers and “real” writers alike.
Oh well. I don’t care very much at the moment.
But as blogging has, at times, made me feel more stressed, I’ve been wondering why I do this. Why do we all do it? We have different reasons for it. You could say it’s because you love to cook, so you want to share your recipes with the world. You’d like to relate to other people, to help other people with the same mental disorders as you. You want to make the world a bit brighter.
I think deeper down, however- it’s less of an “I’m doing this for everyone else” noble-type thing, but rather it’s something more self-serving.
We’re writing about our own lives, our own experiences, for our own benefit. We like to talk about ourselves, and our thoughts, and our opinions, because we like to do so, and in a real conversation, you can’t convey as much.
I don’t mean to say that you can’t have good reasons for blogging- there are many bloggers out there who have other people in mind. And I don’t mean to say that we’re all narcissistic, self-serving individuals.
All of us just want to share our voices with the world. We all want to be heard. Maybe we feel as if we aren’t being heard, as if our voices are lost in an abyss. Maybe we just want more people to hear us screaming our hearts out.We want to show our true selves, our true emotions- we want to be able to relate to people on a basic human-to-human level. There’s a subconscious that emerges out of a train of words on a white page, that no one could comprehend otherwise.
We want to share with other people our experiences, our opinions, our thoughts, because each of us believes and knows that what we have to say matters. We want to get a piece of ourselves out there, on the World Wide Web. We want to show others what’s underneath the surface, or we want to get approval for what we have to say. But at the core of it all,
We just want to be heard.
Can you hear me?
Hi all!:)
A Girl and Depression 