Blog

11 Interesting Facts About Me; (the Sunshine Blogger Award!)

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Hi all!:)

I’ve been nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award by the amazing Pocket Treasures! Please check out her blog; it is fantastic:) Her tagline includes “Changing the World With One Act of Kindness at a Time!” which I absolutely love. Her posts include things about being Muslim, girl power, inspiration, parenting, and life as a British expat mom in UAE- all super interesting!

She actually nominated me a looooong time ago, so whoops 😂

As you probably know, I write anonymously, so I find it very fun to tell you facts about me that you wouldn’t know otherwise. This is my excuse to do so.

Please be aware: my answers are by no means concise. My English teacher would cry.


The Rules for the Award:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you, and provide a link to their blog.
  2. Answer the 11 questions sent by the person who nominated you.
  3. Nominate 11 blogs, and write 11 questions that you’d like them to answer.
  4. List the rules, and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or on your blog!

Pocket Treasure’s Questions for Me: 

1. Who inspires you?

My mom inspires me. She’s one exceptional woman- she was born into poverty but fought her way up to become a doctor. She overcame challenges to do so; not only the issue of money but because of political aspects as well (I’m not going to give away too many details:) Once she reached her dream career, she didn’t forget about the people like who she once was- she volunteered to help provide free healthcare for the poor, even travelling to some other countries! My mother, to me, is a beautiful woman, with courage, smarts, and love all in one ❤️

2. What would you like to be remembered as?

I think that I would most like to be remembered as someone kind, or someone who helps make a positive impact on other people’s lives. I aspire to be someone who lifts other people up and helps them, whether it be through my future career, offering random acts of kindness, providing a shoulder for someone who needs it, volunteering, or even through this blog. That is what would make me the most happy, and what I’d love to do.

3. What would you like to do which is totally outside your comfort zone?

Ooh, this is a good question! As someone living with depression and social anxiety, my comfort zone is about the size of a cardboard box. 😂 If I were to wander out of my comfort zone, the first thing that I would do is to just talk in class. (Lame answer?) It’s already pretty difficult for me to socialize and not feel nervous or feel as if people are judging me- I even get that feeling blogging! Actually, I think that starting a blog itself was out of my comfort zone, so I’m happy that it worked out!

4. What things can you not live without?

Does family count as a thing? haha:)

In terms of actual objects, books. Books. Books. I guess I can just lose my phone- a bit difficult, but not enough that I’d need it to “live”.  Actually, the internet is really important, too- I’ll say I can ditch my phone but preferably keep my laptop.

5. What’s your favorite book?

Harry Potter, all the way:) As you may have read in My Story, when I was depressed as a kid, I compulsively read it over and over and over again. This probably sounds really sad, because it is. However, reading it was a form of escapism for me, and helped me feel less depressed. Harry Potter is an intricately written book- the characters and the world that JK Rowling created are so palpable that it seemed to introduce a whole new world to me. Harry Potter was the first book (series) that I truly loved. Out of the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book 6) is my favorite.

Also, *fun fact* I thought that Harry Potter was set in America for probably the whole half of the first book 😂And I learned practically all the British English terminology I know from that series.

6. What is your favorite quote that you live by?

Too many to choose from! If I had to choose one, I think it would be

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” -Dr. Seuss


7. If you were the president of America, what one thing would you change?

OH what a good question.

I am very passionate about equal rights; for women, the LGBTQ+ community, religious groups, and racial/ethnic groups. If I could only change one thing… Oh my goodness. I do not know.

But if I could only change one thing, I’d probably pass stricter anti-discrimination laws in general.

8. What would you say to your younger self?

I’d tell myself to relax, have fun, and not be scared in trying new things and making friends! I’d also say that no pain lasts forever, and people are always here to help if I need any.

hmm… I should listen to my own advice 😂

9. What’s your favorite comfort food?

One of my mom’s dishes- I would say more but I don’t want any chance of threatening my anonymity. Anything that she makes is great.

Besides that, I love kettle-style popcorn- I have almost an unhealthy obsession with it; I don’t know why. But it is so good!

10. What makes your day instantly better?

Writing posts on my blog or reading other blogs! It just makes me so happy. I love reading about other people’s lives or what they have to say.

11. What thing do you miss doing as a kid?

I’d say that what I miss doing most is watching my favorite little kid shows (most of them now off the air or changed significantly) such as Caillou or Dragon Tales or Reading Rainbow or Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. I also miss playdates- they were fun.


For the part that I’m sure many of you scrolled straight down to read;)

 

Nominations (in alphabetical order):

  1. Clumsy and Silly
  2. My Life Online
  3. Wolfish Delight
  4. All The Jazz
  5. Adventuring Girl
  6. Paper Girl
  7. Dancers Ballet Life
  8. Life of Angela
  9. Beachy Girl Monique
  10. Blogging Sunsets 
  11. Teen Inspirations
  12. YOU who’s reading!!:):)

I tried to nominate people who I think participate in awards, but making an award post is completely up to you.

And YOU, reading this can do it too! I get that you’re only supposed to nominate 11 people, but a) not everyone will do it b) I don’t like excluding people. At all. c) Who cares?! 😂 If you don’t want to say that you got the award itself, you could at least answer my questions for the nominees if you want;) I know that all of you care about your blogs, and there are a lot of fantastic blogs out there that I couldn’t nominate!


My 11 Questions (for all of you;)

  1. When and why did you start blogging?
  2. What is your favorite thing to do when you first get home?
  3. If you could travel anywhere you wanted in the world, where would you go and why?
  4. What is one misconception people commonly have about you?
  5. If you had a time-travelling machine, what would you do with it?
  6. What is your favorite song to listen to when you’re feeling down?
  7. If you were stuck on an island with only one other person, who would you choose and why?
  8. What is your favorite food when you want to indulge?
  9. What would the perfect day be like for you?
  10. What values/quotes/mantras/ideas do you try to live by?
  11. What is something that you wish other people would know about you?

Hope you have fun answering the questions!

xoxo, c.

P.s. one more post for awards coming soon. After that set, I am unsure if I will continue doing awards posts. Do any of you have opinions on awards? I know that many people don’t participate, so I’d love to hear your opinion:)


This is a scheduled post. I am currently traveling to Anaheim for Disneyland; will be back on Saturday. 

The it’s a small word theme song is already stuck in my head XD 

also, is it just me, or do I sound annoying in this post? I am so scared that I sound annoying:( but that’s probably my social anxiety speaking. 

 

My Life

Bringing Gloom to the Happiest Place on Earth!

Warning: disorganized post– I was writing the way my brain works. Also, a lot of (only half-kidding) complaining on the verge of whining is about to ensue…sometimes I wish I were into YouTube so that I could show people how I feel; when I’m being sarcastic or trying to make a joke, because I’m pretty sure I sound like a 2-year-old spoiled brat in this post 😂 oh well. WAIT…that gives me an idea

I’m going to Disneyland, and I don’t want to go.

That probably sounds really bratty of me (because it is) but I simply can’t go- I have so much schoolwork to do. Spring break is notorious for not being a break at all, but rather a week of frenetic studying and stressing and maybe breakdowns.

*sobs*

I would like to complain a little, so I will.

AP tests, for one thing, are almost immediately after this break. Right now I’m taking AP Spanish and AP European history, and I haven’t studied for them at all. [AP tests are test that you take after taking an AP (Advanced Placement; “college level” course). Scores are from a scale of 1-5, with 3 as a passing score. If you pass, colleges may give you credit so that you don’t need to take the same class again in college] I’m sure that I’ll pass both of them, but my goal is to get at least a 4 on each, which will require some more studying. AHHHH 😂

And then my lovely AP Euro teacher decided to give us quizzes during our break. QUIZZES. Not even homework, but quizzes that we need to take on the exact day she posts them. I’ll be in a hotel room with my laptop answering questions about World War II.

There is also major research project due after break- I need to write up 20 pages and incorporate pictures, screenshots, and interviews. This break is also used to study for finals, which I won’t be able to do.

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I’ll just have to try to cram everything in, I guess. Everything will be fineeee (*two weeks later, at 2 AM* I’M NOT FINE)

I really am looking forward to going to Disneyland though- who doesn’t love Disneyland?! I haven’t been there in four years. Since then, I’ve acquired a love of roller coasters- I love that rush of adrenaline that you get while dropping weightlessly down the tracks; it makes me feel fearless. It’s really surprising given that I become horribly motion sick on airplanes and some buses or trains.

I’ll be dropping by Universal Studios and the San Diego Zoo as well. Universal studios=HARRY POTTER!! I am ecstatic to be going there- I want butterbeer! And exploding bonbons, and chocolate frogs…as you can see, it’s all about the food;) I won’t be able to leave without buying merchandise- as you may or may not know, I love Harry Potter.

At the zoo, I hope to go zip lining- so much fun!!

I don’t think anyone at school would expect me to be into thrill rides and things like this; I am a quiet, shy wallflower who blends in with the carpet. I probably wouldn’t have ever tried to go on a roller coaster if not for my best friend going with me on my first one.

Riding on thrill rides makes me feel like I’m someone I’m not, but in a good way. I know that this courage and fearlessness and strength revealed on these rides are always residing inside of me, and that makes me feel amazing.

So I’m going to pack up my stuff, as we’re leaving tomorrow in the morning. Exciting, but at the same time so stressful. I’ll need to pack my laptop for the quizzes, dammit.

I may post some drafts while I’m gone, but no guarantees;)

Well, that’s that! I know that this was a disorganized, all-over-the-place post, but that’s how my brain works after doing trigonometry problems;)

In total, I will be dragging my stressed and depressed little soul over to Disneyland, where I will have social anxiety as costumed actors call me “Princess” and try to be friendly.

Wow, I am definitely loads of fun. 😂

Bye! I’ll see you after vacation:) If you’re on break, I hope that you have a fantastic one, and if not, I hope that you have a great week!

Xoxo, C 😊

P.s. If anyone has any tips or anything to say about Disneyland, I would love to hear them:)

 

Poetry

Simply Unmeasurable

Love in measuring cups,

Friendship by inches,

Beauty by rank,

Numbers of wishes.

Percents on paper,

Letters too.

They mean nothing

Nothing about you.

Digits on a scale,

Always too big

Never mind that, never fear

They mean nothing

Nothing about you.

Rulers, tape measures, letters of the alphabet.

Measuring cups, meters and yards, pounds and measuring scales,

Meaningless numbers and letters are what they are;

They are not you.

Life, lovely and bright

Condensed into squiggles

Numbers flashing upon a screen

Impossible.

For do we make

That brilliant sunset

Into numbers?

Weigh kindness

Upon the scales?

Can we rob

Love of its dignity

And make it

Percentages?

Take the ruler

To your beauty

No, no

No.

Restrictions like these-

Numbers don’t define you.

Darling, love,

All those things that matter

Are simply unmeasurable.

You

Are unmeasurable.


C.

Cate

via Daily Prompt: Measure

My Life, My Thoughts, Social Anxiety

Call Me Cate, Not Cait(lyn Jenner)

*This is a very, very, very long post plus a rant at the end. It is best to read on the computer;)* If you find it too long to read in this format, you can also use this link to: Read on Google Docs

This post has been on my mind for a long, long time; mainly because this has affected me a lot and I want to make my views on this (controversial) topic known.

I’ve never really told this to anyone, and am slightly nervous of telling this, so I guess the best place to start is telling this to the public, with my blog;)

Today at school, there was one of those jokes again. As I walked to my chemistry class with two of my friends in tow, one male and one female, my male friend said something meant to be funny. I forget what the context was, but he turned to the girl and told her, “You’re Rose.” Then, he turned to me and said, “And you, C., can be Jack.”

Continue reading “Call Me Cate, Not Cait(lyn Jenner)”

Blog, My Thoughts

My Blog and Me: The Troubled Couple

Lately, I’ve been a terrible blogger.

I’ve procrastinated on posts and struggled to stay on my schedule of Monday and Thursday, run out of interesting post ideas and motivation, and have kind of simply thrown things at you. Last-minute, half-baked ideas as well as sorry excuses for why my writing is virtual trash, complaints about how I’m running out of time.

You’re welcome.

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(kidding;)

Now that I look back at my blog posts, I think that I’m pretty proud of them. Of most of them, at least. But I don’t think that I have enough of the content that I would like to have.

Even if the posts look alright on the surface, there is one heck of an ugly framework supporting it invisibly. A lot of nights procrastinating and freaking out and typing frantically while math homework lies by ignored, a lot of internal anguish, stress and pressure with the upcoming deadline, even if it’s self-imposed.

Not to mention the fear of not being good enough or being judged that comes along with the darling social anxiety. The blue PUBLISH button is something to be fought and conquered before being pressed, after the internal debate and whispers in my mind that tell me what I’m writing isn’t good enough, people won’t like it, I’m complaining too much, I sound too happy, I sound too depressed.

I’m ashamed to say that, more than once, I’ve thought things too depressing to be published. Talks of depression would repulse visitors and drive away views.

My blog, obviously, is supposed to deal a lot with depression. I’m freaking “A Girl and Depression”. A girl with depression too afraid to speak of her depression? A girl who hides behind her smile, sometimes genuine and sometimes not, in both the real life and behind someone’s LED screen?

Originally, my blog was created to deal solely with my mental health. But I never wanted to be restricted to one topic, to always just talk about my depression and social anxiety.

Then I discovered some amazing personal blogs, and I think that’s something that I want to do. It’ll take some time, but I’ll see if I can transition into more personal blogging- telling you more about me, what I’m up to, my thoughts on things. That’s when my goal for this blog was changed, and I introduced my happy side.

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But nowadays, my happy side comes in flashes, and I want to talk about my bad days as well. The real dirty, dark and gritty depression and social anxiety, the type that makes “neurotically neutral” squirm, what some people try to avoid reading. And I’m ashamed that I want to shield that side. That I want to bury part of the truth that so many others need to hear.

And for that I am sorry.

Maybe I’m too hard on myself (I probably am). For one thing, I really like the majority of my posts! My blog probably doesn’t seem like a mound of dung, because it isn’t (which is disputable:p) but this is how I feel from the other end of the screen. Looking back at my posts, none of them are as bad as I felt they were. But it was simply the process that completely stressed me out, and quite frankly made blogging a terrifying chore.

Promises for myself:

  • I won’t procrastinate, for I’ll post when I want, which is normally more often than just twice a week.
  • I won’t keep anything deemed too gloomy or too dark from my blog if I want to talk about it.
  • I will write more about me, and what’s up in my life.
  • I don’t like the inflexibility of a fixed schedule, so I declare its sudden demise at this instant.
  • I will write whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want.
  • I’m going to make blogging fun for me again!

To be completely honest, I’m getting an extreme amount of self-doubt about this whole post right now; I am resisting the temptation to dive back in and edit this whole post ferociously, and perhaps to even delete it. So if you see this post, I probably just clicked that blue button with my eyes closed, desperately quickly before closing my laptop.

Well, that’s it for today. I have to admit that I have a chemistry test tomorrow that I’m not prepared for at all, and it is 11:00 PM, so I really must go.

I hope that you have a fantastic day, all of you! Smile lots and have fun:)

Xx, C ❤️

P.S. quick shout-out to the amazing Adventuring Girl for teaching me how to insert GIFs! Finally…I’ve been trying for so long and it’s never worked 😂thank you, Faith:)

Post-itivity! (Motivational Mondays)

Post-itivity! Watching Jenna Marbles Making Her Dog Fly

I apologize in advance for the poor quality of my writing; I am writing this at midnight and scheduling it for the morning. Yip-pee yay!

Whenever I feel sad, I go watch YouTube, like most of my sad little generation;) and when I do that, I often watch Jenna Marbles.

Jenna Marbles is absolutely hilarious. She’s one of the YouTubers with the most subscribers on YouTube, and for good reason.

She pretends to be dead serious, and yet is hilariously weird and goofy at the same time, while doing fun things like a) making her dogs fly or b) braiding things that don’t belong in her hair into her hair and c) gluing rhinestones all over her face.

Her videos make me laugh out loud. That’s not simply an lol that you type with a completely straight face, no, I’m legitimately laughing at her videos because they are ridiculous. For example, watch this one on how to care for your cermet (her dog).

So there you have it! Two videos that I found hilarious, and will hopefully make you laugh.

HAVE A WONDERFUL MONDAY!

xoxo, c

p.s. what am I doing up at midnight? Idk, I’m stupid 😂 I procrastinated on this, on homework, honestly I’m procrastinating on life so I’ve got to pull myself together eventually. I promise that better posts are coming soon; I’ve already got one completed draft ready to go.