This week I’ve really been struggling to function. It feels as if the world has suddenly stopped spinning, but I’m still swirling aimlessly through life.
I forget how strong depression’s grasp is, and how it has the ability to pull me into the darkness, to make light vanish.
It’s not something that you can simply magic away with positivity and smiles.
For what can you do when there is that dreadful feeling of emptiness? That horrible realization that you understand what could bring one to choke down a handful of pills is something unimaginably bleak.
When you feel sad, there is something to fight. When you are empty, and life is empty, and becomes a cycle of work and chores, that is when there is nothing.
I’m still determined to try, though.
I refuse to give in to this eternal cycle of misery. It will end, I know that for sure; depression has its own special way of blurring reality. We’ve just got to try and have faith that it will end.
I’m going to break out of this cycle. Trying for me will start now, right now. I should go study for my big chemistry test tomorrow- I procrastinated again.
p.s. Writing how I feel always makes me feel so much better 😊 I feel slightly accomplished now. Sending good vibes your way!